Complain, Complain, Complain

I was recently asked by a close friend if all I do is complain. The short answer is “no” complaining is not all I do. The long answer goes as such…..

“No, although I do complain daily, I also find that between the rants and rages of my everyday life, I have moments of pleasure and sheer elation as well. Most mornings, there is at least one instance when, I catch myself smiling from feeling of the warmth of the sun on my face during an early morning swim.”
“There are many times when I get sentimental staring into my children’s eyes while reminiscing about the times when they were just infants.”
“I do find myself forgetting all of the frustration, which seems to penetrate ever area of my life, and just be……”
“I do have a full range of wild and tamed emotions.”
“I do share love as much, if not more than, feelings of disgust or opposition for my fellow humans.” My point is, I fill my life with some many things other than complaining or being angry.

My hope today is that I convey what the point of my blog is regarding “the big picture” of it. I believe that expressing my feelings, those icky, angry, frustrated, I wish someone knew how I felt feelings, I can be a better me.

If I put it down on paper for only me to see, does that do my feelings or the relevance of my point any justice? If I complain or inquire to no one, can I make a change within myself or hope that others will? Am I important enough or worthy enough to make a change regarding anything? These questions are what I ask myself everyday….. Do I, or my views, even matter in this big world? Do I make a difference at all?

I write this blog or put something down on paper everyday….. I write because I feel good about it. I feel good to be a part of something bigger than me. To sum it up, I want to be better…. So I complain and hope that even if all I change is my own point of view or even my sons’ ideals on social behavior and respect for their fellow humans, then I can feel accomplished. I write because I feel joyful about the fact that I emote, feel, and release all of the angst. I feel spectacular that when I am done….. as I am now… I always end on a smile.