Cruelty comes,

I think that right this minute every parent in the world should sit down and have a “real” conversation with their child. They should sit them down face-to-face and explain to them the beauty of being an individual.

Every parent, right this second, should share with their children the facts about “words” and how they can hurt someone. They should explain to their babies that the names you call your classmates, siblings, and maybe even friends can harm a person as much, or even more, than your fists can. They should enlighten their innocent children with the truth and the consequences about calling someone “gay” or “fag.”

It is time to tell the children of the world, our future leaders, that words referring to race or gender, used in a negative matter, should never be spoken. That the differences in each of us are what makes us fantastically unique creatures. The beauty in diversity makes everyday worth exploring life.

I think every parent should tell their children not to be cruel, entitled, careless, misbehaved, spoiled, heartless, inconsiderate punks! I want every selfish, neglectful parent to stop right this very second and tell your nasty mean child to leave the nice, loving, and sweet kids alone. Tell those lil’ son of a bitch children, that you allow to get away with murder, to leave the kids who wear clothes that are “different” than yours alone, to leave the kids with disabilities alone, to leave the kids whose parents can’t afford fancy clothes or brand names alone.

Most of all I want all of those parents to teach their children the consequences of those words. The endless nights those children spend crying about the way they look or their lack of friends. The countless hours, that the victims of verbal abuse spend, wondering “why me?” Make them see the fears, regrets, and suicides that could follow these words. The deep dark path of destruction the word “fat” or “ugly” can brand on the soul of a little girl or boy. Scream the importance and gravity of the loneliness and lack of understanding……… isolation, desperation, seclusion………. .

The fail.....

There are those people. Those who are prettier than you. Those who are smarter than you. Those who are thinner than you. Those who are better than you.
They are lurking in every corner of your mind. They are your uncertainties of inadequacy or loneliness. They are your fears of failure and rejection. They are the manifestations of regret and shame.
They are in your person, escorting you down the path of disenchanted expectations of yourself. They feed off of you. You let them in and they take away from you………. You let them in.

Most days I stare in the mirror, lifting this or sucking in that. After a good long critical moment, I release all of it and look intently. Usually just for a second…… and in that second I accept. I accept that I am this. I am this person. I am. For that moment I am me and I love me. For that moment, I accept me. I inhale all of the air my chest can take in, like a prideful boasting male bird, and then exhale loudly and wildly. In that exhale I let go. I release expectation. I let it go.
Usually, within that same second I turn out of the door. Naked, I pass by another mirror… inhale……. then they are there again. Those people I let in. And even if that one breath is the only moment I have of serenity…. I go on….

The future......

It has been weeks since the therapeutic writings of an “angry Kim” had begun and then the writing quickly came to a halt. I recently quit writing about the things that made me full of rage, disgust, or misunderstanding online for a couple of reasons. One reason was I hated hearing the criticism from others. I wanted to be angry without restrictions and I found myself being bound by the words and judgment of others. Even the slightest remark made me feel like a failure…….. normal? Probably not, but I have never really been within the “normal lines” anyways.
In recent weeks life has brought me an abundance of personal tribulation. I did not want to, or feel the need to, write or complain about them in a public form. I attempt to keep my kiddos and past relationships out of the blog completely. Although I frequently find myself being preoccupied with those issues more than others, which leaves me less to write about publically, but plenty to journal about. I guess to be honest with myself, I did not want to share the personal depths of what I had been dealing with….. for that I am only slightly regretful.
In the future, regarding my blog, I will not only complain about the negligence of others or the lack of social regard that humans tend to have “these days,” I will try to be more personal, less ridged. More amusing, less dramatic. More inviting, less disagreeable. More engaging, less callous.
More Kim, less public at large………….. personal.