I write…..
I have had this feeling, an anticipation of sorts. I wish I had an outlet that made me not feel so, so guilty. The cravings are something I have felt before, but not for a while. The desire is something I have been thinking about incessantly. Warmth, smooth, eager…… ummmmm.
I might feel shame…… but not enough to keep me from having what I want. I might feel some regret… but not till tomorrow. I might want more….. but who knows if I have the room.
All I know is that I will be satisfied this one day, this one time, this one event. I can not tell the future, but I like the feeling of curiously wondering about what may happen later. Maybe this will be the last time I make this choice, then, never again….. or I make this choice every week and hide the guilty pleasures from the world….. secretly smiling on the inside……. ear to ear…… no one will know….. my little secret. I will have to wait it out, but soon, very soon I will indulge………
Tonight
I will make brownies for dinner.
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